The Pros and Cons of nannies and parents working alone, together.

With the digital age in full swing, the concept of working from home (WFH) has become a celebrated staple for many. But while remote work can offer a sense of comfort, it brings unique stresses, especially for parents and their nannies. Yet, as with any challenge, there are silver linings.

Many working parents have expressed that working from home is like dancing a delicate waltz. They express a challenge to juggle meetings and mute buttons while hearing laughter and occasional cries from the next room. However, the warmth of knowing their child is cared for even when they’re buried in spreadsheets is a definite perk.

Nannies, myself included, have expressed that it can be stressful knowing that employers are about and are potentially watching and judging every move, but are ultimately grateful for the additional adult presence in case of emergencies and simply for the company beyond toddlers and teens.

Why WFH is Stressful

Blurred Boundaries: One primary reason WFH can be stressful is the merging of work and personal spaces.

• Parents might find it challenging to seamlessly switch between professional and parental roles, especially with kids around.
  • Parents might feel a guilty tug when a child starts to cry while they’re preoccupied with work.
  • The children will know that the parents are around and seek them out for mommy or daddy cuddles.
• Meanwhile, nannies, accustomed to a certain routine, may feel caught off-guard with parents now present, altering the home dynamic.
  • They will have to juggle the parental vibe interruptions and distractions that can cause alterations in behavior.
  • When children prefer parents, they may have the additional work of acting as parental bodyguards to help parents avoid home distractions while at work.
  • They may have to field authority discrepancies when children turn to parental intervention during nanny behavioral / boundary corrections.

The best way to navigate these blurred boundaries is to decide on a routine, communicate this routine to the children, and maintain consistency.

• Parents should communicate with the children that when the Nanny is present, they are in charge. Parents should continue to agree and back up the Nanny’s decisions until the children get the picture.
  • This is beneficial as it works to eliminate parental guilt, nanny hesitancy, and childhood negotiation tactics
• Parents should communicate to the children when they are in their home office that they cannot be reached unless there is an emergency. With consistency, the children will eventually recognize and adhere to this boundary.
• Parents should decide on the best times to take consistent work breaks and interact with the children during those times.
  • Lunch, Coffee, Afternoon snack, etc.

Increased Expectations: Sometimes, there’s a mistaken belief that being at home means one can achieve more. Parents might anticipate nannies to handle additional tasks due to their presence, while nannies could expect parents to intervene more often in childcare.

• Draw on the Nanny Agreement to draw lines and delegate responsibilities.
• Agree and understand everyone’s role and stick to it for consistency. Quality over quantity is the name of the game when juggling work and childcare.

Lack of Personal Space: Everyone values a little ‘me-time.’ With both parents and nannies coexisting in the same space for extended periods, personal time can diminish, leading to feelings of being overwhelmed.

Both parents and nannies can feel stressed and overwhelmed due to a lack of “me time.” I suggest helping each other out. Everyone should respect and recognize that being overwhelmed will ultimately affect everyone.

• Parents, on your designated break time, ask the nanny if they could use a bathroom break, or 5 minutes to take a breather.
• Parents, take an additional 5 minutes to yourself before you re-enter the world of children and home life.

The Silver Linings

1. Strengthened Bonds: With more time spent together, there’s an opportunity for parents and nannies to develop a stronger bond. This can lead to better understanding and communication about children’s needs.
   • It can also lead to a friendship if there is an allowance for lax power dynamics.
2. Flexibility: Parents can often be more flexible with schedules when working from home. This can allow for adjustments in routines that cater to both the parents’ work commitments and the children’s needs, giving nannies a bit of a breather.
   • Cell phones are a plus: Parents – shoot the nanny a text before emerging for a surprise fun time. See if the situation allows for parental intervention or if it would be distracting to the day’s structure.
3. Shared Responsibilities: While there might be increased expectations, there’s also a chance for shared childcare responsibilities. Parents can step in during their breaks, allowing nannies to focus on specific tasks or even take short rests.

While the WFH scenario brings its share of stress for both parents and nannies, it’s not devoid of perks. As with any change, communication, setting boundaries, and mutual respect are key to navigating the challenges and reaping the benefits.

*Image by Charles from Pixabay